haiku 66: facial fail

i had bad acne
then ten surgeries later
my face just fell off

haiku 65: two buck teeth

i eat bark and wood
floppy tail and raping cats
beaver with rabies

haiku 64: E! tonight

i made a sex tape
my own media time bomb
a fame enhancer

haiku 63: killing chilling

it's euthanasia
it's overpopulation
it's youth in asia

haiku 62: sid and nancy

brought home a crack whore
smashed her head with a guitar
"sex, drugs, rock and roll"

haiku 61: in da veggie-hood

broccoli brothers
"ain't nothin' but crooked cops-
cauliflower pigs"

haiku 60: shove-it "concentrate"

orange juice needs pulp
like how amputees need limbs
and people need brains

haiku 59: gold-sniffing

oysters, chocolate
the smell of crisp new money
aphrodisiacs

haiku 58: pangea

columbus, cabot,
marco polo, santa claus
accalimed explorers

haiku 57: what's in the fridge

strawberries, taffy,
caramel, male cadavers
"things i like to eat"

haiku 56: see you later, alligator

sharp teeth, bouncy tongue
i live in a gator's mouth
life is short but sweet

haiku 55: scout's honor

wilderness training
learn bird calls and camouflage
"future voyeur badge"

haiku 54: sharp teeth

the vampire fad
(aka men who screw bats)
romance novel flop

haiku 53: why a million people burned to death

made a time machine
tin clocks in the microwave
there's no crime in that

haiku 52: drug debt woes

this ain't no play ground
some debts can not be repaid
by gushers and juice

haiku 51: feta

misunderstanding
this is crumbled mush in bile
cultured moldy gross

haiku 50: yarrr

plundering, sailing
wooden leg, sword, hook, orange
scurvy free yo-ho

haiku 49: in the credits

slept with the writer,
director and producer
miss. "special thanks to:"

haiku 48: pop a cap in your face

every time we fight
i make microwave popcorn
to mask the gun shots

haiku 47: disproving physics

pinocchio's crime :
he said, "my nose will now grow"
and all hell broke loose

haiku 46: blah blah mandatory vaccinations

the swine flu vacine
it's not that i'm pro-flu shots-
i'm pro-IV drugs

haiku 45: love note

you're like a clogged vein
heart stopping and left breathless
you make me tingle

haiku 44: artsy fartsy martsy

art students, toddlers
the only difference is
pastels and crayons

haiku 43: vay-cay

tropical island
hepatitis fruit cocktails
lasting souvenirs

haiku 42: evil kiwis and fuzzy witches

put a spell on me
black, white and green all over
witches and kiwis