haiku 287: venti non-fat 180 degrees bullshit

trade lattes for love
fifteen word starbucks orders
for five 'i love you's

haiku 286: who you gonna call

murder by vacuum

death by inner soul suction

misguided ghostbust

haiku 285: no man left behind

newspaper nothing

black, white and red all over

non-racist bloodbath

haiku 284: crocodile hustler

crocodile dundee

face to face with steve irwin

crikey, thats good porn !

haiku 283: kool aid jammers

pink hair dye special

it's OH YAHH salon and spa

kool-aid based products

haiku 282: size counts

sperm whale and blue whale

brown bear and jabba the hut

world's largest mammals

haiku 281: life goals

fat girl at the gym

high-school bro at the gay bar

change for the better

haiku 280: so so so salty

eating with your eyes

leads to great flavour let-downs

case in point: play doh

haiku 279: gums on fire

medieval torture

the dentist flossing my teeth

all i taste is blood

haiku 278: it's not about gifts

fire place channel

24 hour walmart time

christmas is coming

haiku 277: history repeats

peaceful youth protests
black bloc looting carnival
two peas in a pod

haiku 276: you are not the joker

'why so serious?'

movies quotes don't get you laid
and i'm serious

haiku 275: your sale sucks

hot crossed buns for sale

one a penny then it's two?

hyperinflation

haiku 274: tom cruise

scientology

alien and god's love child

expensive childhood

haiku 273: organic grocery store

cannibal vegans,

vegan zombies and myself

eat vegan as food

haiku 272: boxxxxxy

internet famous

cute cat captions and tubgirl

modern day values

haiku 271: how i got shot

laughing at black jokes

if there's a time and a place,

it's not in the hood

haiku 270: please shave !

it's called "mo"venber

so now there's just no excuse

naive mustache girls

haiku 269: 5 EZ payments yo'

the two-man "snuggie"

also known as the "huggie"

CAN BE YOURS! CALL NOW

haiku 268: american apparel

"destroy your fix gear!"

"the end of thick rimmed glasses!"

the great hipster purge

haiku 267: milk and condoms

a parallel world
santa claus is santa pimp
sperm for all good girls

haiku 266: 90 pounds

anorexic porn

fake low-fat sperm substitute

bony boner vice

haiku 265: snow angels

making a snowman

thawed bodies found in the spring

concealed snow secrets

haiku 264: girls who like sheep too much

childhood story time
mary had a little lamb
(they exchanged v-cards)

haiku 263: vroom

fog lights at full strength
cut me off and then go slow
hit and run murder