types of tv shows:
"pregnant teens doing cocaine"
and "war continues"
made a spider web
out of all your used condoms
reduce, reuse, yuck
pickles, pickled eggs
pickled corn, beets and best friends
everlasting needs
photocopied hearts
eaten by paper shredder
confetti kisses
the jingle bell rock:
elf groupies, holiday hash
not fun, just real strange
what is bamboo for?
panda consumption for one,
and for impaling
what's global warming?
it's earth in the microwave
on popcorn setting
"teach a man to fish,
he'll endanger a species"
nature is our bitch
grammar's a turn on
no like when u, talk lyk dis !
your an idiot
op amps and grow ops
both provide infinite joy
by both i mean one
pterodactyl hugs
love from the mesozoic
fossilized lovers
flat coke, diet coke
warm coke and watery coke
high maintenance drink
evolution sucks
nobody ever flosses
but we still need to
king kong, godzilla,
ghouls, monsters and ex-girlfriends
"things i shoot to kill"
milk in the cupboard
and cereal in the fridge
eat, contemplate, puke
stage a puppet show
using cannibal midgets
pint-size disaster
oh my god, first date !
popped pimples and shiny shoes
rohypnol in hand
desperate woman
kissing toads and licking frogs
no prince, warts instead !
bunnies rob the bank
millions are sawed in half
magician rampage
SORRY! you're real fat
a hungry hungry hippo
food monopoly
multitasking-me
brush teeth while in the shower
have sex while driving
yay global warming
polar bears getting a tan
icebergs to ice cubes
i had bad acne
then ten surgeries later
my face just fell off
i eat bark and wood
floppy tail and raping cats
beaver with rabies
i made a sex tape
my own media time bomb
a fame enhancer
it's euthanasia
it's overpopulation
it's youth in asia
brought home a crack whore
smashed her head with a guitar
"sex, drugs, rock and roll"
broccoli brothers
"ain't nothin' but crooked cops-
cauliflower pigs"
orange juice needs pulp
like how amputees need limbs
and people need brains
oysters, chocolate
the smell of crisp new money
aphrodisiacs
columbus, cabot,
marco polo, santa claus
accalimed explorers
strawberries, taffy,
caramel, male cadavers
"things i like to eat"
sharp teeth, bouncy tongue
i live in a gator's mouth
life is short but sweet
wilderness training
learn bird calls and camouflage
"future voyeur badge"
the vampire fad
(aka men who screw bats)
romance novel flop
made a time machine
tin clocks in the microwave
there's no crime in that
this ain't no play ground
some debts can not be repaid
by gushers and juice
misunderstanding
this is crumbled mush in bile
cultured moldy gross
plundering, sailing
wooden leg, sword, hook, orange
scurvy free yo-ho
slept with the writer,
director and producer
miss. "special thanks to:"
every time we fight
i make microwave popcorn
to mask the gun shots
pinocchio's crime :
he said, "my nose will now grow"
and all hell broke loose
the swine flu vacine
it's not that i'm pro-flu shots-
i'm pro-IV drugs
you're like a clogged vein
heart stopping and left breathless
you make me tingle
art students, toddlers
the only difference is
pastels and crayons
tropical island
hepatitis fruit cocktails
lasting souvenirs
put a spell on me
black, white and green all over
witches and kiwis
8 dollar yogurt
2 dollar side of flax seeds
"less for more" diet
sex with cotton balls
making vampire teabags
cheap menstruation thrills
chicken noodle soup
makes you feel good when you're sick
(that's 'cause i add speed)
one time use power
spontaneous combustion
limitation woes
heart arrhythmia tempo
arthritis break beat
natural music
biting fingernails
eat a scab, bleeding nose drips
you're a cannibal
the crossword puzzle
two-hundred-and-six blank squares
proof i don't know shit
i'm a full time mom
which is like playing the sims
but without the cheats
bedroom awkwardness
"yeah, baby milk my udder"
we both said, same time
white trash thanksgiving
KFC, colt 45
and mashed tater tots
blasted off, zoom zoom
hung out with green aliens
got probed, it was great
premarital sex
in hell with rapist killers
over reaction
bacon omelette
with extra salmonellae
delicious poison
midterm exam stress
it's real hard to write my test
with you on your knees
picking up hot chicks
when claire turns out to be clyde ...
...take what you can get
carnivorous plants
perhaps not the best weapon
minor abrasions
i'm not an addict
i swear, it's not what you think
my weight-loss program
3 ingredients
nuclear yellow noodles
"gotta be KD"
the common saying:
"don't knock it 'till you tried it"
is my pick up line
lions and tigers
claw on claw feline carnage
a cat fight, oh my!
do laundry at 3
hot dinner at 6 o'clock
crack whore, 9 pm
big car accident
i'm flying through the windshield
i love insurance
it's still the same piece
been chewing this gum for days
hoping you'll come back
compulsive liar
that was me but i got help
now i never lie
zombie mutation
rotten flesh and eating brains
eyeballs for breakfast
winning the lotto
now you can buy anything
like some respect
opposites attract
so we're made for each other
like pizza and sprouts
cheerleading captain
glee club, debate club, bitch club
got fat and made porn
a bucket of bliss
a love affair with sanders
finger licking good
severed body parts
human heart, kidney and lungs
a dish best served cold
e-harmony chat
detailed profiles and pictures
of my next victims
socially awkward
it's so hard to keep your cool
i puked while kissing
i built a shrink ray
time to kill unsightly growths
like your male ego
orange cover up
"hey, your bra strap is showing,
ms. dance-floor-hand-jobs"
dancing up and down
i need to pee so damn bad
front door house key blues
"it's not you, it's me"
but the joke's really on him
HIV AIDS, bitch !
i met you last night
we will never talk again
facebook friends for life
the ark forgot me
drowned despite my magic horn
darwin at its best
new relationships
i shouldn't have slept with you
itchy underpants
greasy nose bridges
two zeros for uselessness
l00sers h0lding hands
five seven five, babe
each syllable is for you
the love of my life
