5-7-5

5 - 7 - 5

haiku 168: washer and dryer

sock eating machines
clothing cleaning alias
i'm on to you now

haiku 167: distopia

world wide concubine
with jane austen as satan
female oppression

haiku 166: mcbig

two for one coupons !
dollar menu value meals !
no wonder we're fat

haiku 165: microsoft works

sugar-free sweetner
everyday oxymoron
disease-free hookers

haiku 164: iLife

implant upon birth
music, internet, life-aps
an iPhone birth right

haiku 163: pull in case of

fire departments
hose soaking innuendos
"save pussies in trees"

haiku 162: bah

crazy craft farming
sheep made out of cotton balls
wolves with tummy fluff

haiku 161: grandma

knit one and pearl two
making sweaters out of cats
new use for dead pets

haiku 160: modern crap

paint splatters and blobs
decoupage done by infants
"priceless works of art"

haiku 159: elemental breakdown

carbon, hydrogen,
oxygen and THC
that's what we're made of

haiku 158: homophobees

being hetero
it's easier said than done
good-bye fabulous

haiku 157: jaws yaws

surprise shark attack
pointy teeth and one quick bite
meaty submarine

haiku 156: one bleach

ninjas tv shows
"it's anime, not cartoons"
"whatever loser"

haiku 155: 3.14

"it's circumference."
"did you say, 'sir, cum for once,' ?"
"yeah, something like that."

haiku 154: i eat what i screw

strawberry milkshakes
picnics, human sacrifice
my romantic date

haiku 153: beastiality

petting zoo visit
finding girls in new places
picking up hot "chicks"

haiku 152: shooting star

killed my exgirlfriend
blasted her ashes to space
"wish upon a star"

haiku 151: psychology

keep the oven on,
dirty hands, front door unlocked
anti OCD

haiku 150: messy messy

ebay shopping spree
free shipping and one day rush
it's retail facebook

haiku 149: they can vote?

female astronauts,
female doctors, leprechauns
fictional people

haiku 148: logic

diamonds are crystals
diamonds are a girl's best friend
methamphetamines

haiku 147: may contain traces

life is horrible
suicide by candy bars
allergy solace

haiku 146: dr. love

going to med school
finding a sugar daddy
gold digger dropout

haiku 145: silly willy

fifty sex partners
"quality not quantity,"
voice of a virgin

haiku 144: breathe

fatties at yoga
a pouffy bending gala
off balanced tree roll

haiku 143: feeling helpless

dirty socks in piles
smelly dishes in the sink
girlfriend's out of town

haiku 142: tide

5 cent laundromat
aka 5 cent pet wash
spring-time fresh puppy

haiku 141: EXP JAN 97

yogurt and blue cheese
mushrooms, fungi and zombies
we love the rotten